“What if life is a blank canvas and what you’re painting on it is worthless?”
Don Miller’s bad advice to his former friend haunts me as I reflect on the second and final day of the World Domination Summit (WDS). And with only 7 hours of sleep in the last two days (and partially feeling like a bag of hammers)–I’m pretty happy I’m coherent at 0600.
His question haunts me in my own haze. And it refers back to the idea of where my locus of control is. Is my locus of control external (letting myself be set amidst the winds and priorities of others)? Or is my locus of control internal (being drawn forward magnetically and energetically from within)? It’s this shift that’s been my focus and frustration for the last three years–and I’m humbled to have an experience like WDS to open me towards more honesty.
Hell–I even enjoyed the dance floor!
Day 2 of WDS compounded the whirlwind and advanced its cause as a catalyst for change. It really was like a Revival–without the religious connotations. From such a variety of background and reasons–came a unity of purpose and place. And to think this experience has grown into such a mature event in such little time is testament to the new nature of tribes–which is really the old nature of tribes:
“Tribes are about faith–about belief in an idea and in a community.” –Seth Godin
And about the unity of the idea of community. As an example–I found the only other person in the audience from my hometown in rural southern Georgia! Our parents went to high school together.
Here are my biggest takeaways from Day 2.
Rebellion and Obligation
Gretchen Rubin gave a great talk about the “Four Rubin Tendencies”–Upholding, Questioning, Rebelling, Obliging. What’s powerful about these tendencies is they account for both inner and outer expectations. What we expect of ourselves–as well as what we expect of the world. In her growing body of research–she’s seeking correlation between the archetype and common response to fulfillment, following, and failure.
From her blog, she describes Rebels and Obligators as:
“Rebel—flouts rules, from outside or inside. They resist control. Give a rebel a rule, and the rebel will want to do the very opposite thing.
Obliger—accepts outside rules, but doesn’t like to adopt self-imposed rules.”
Not exactly easy to operate as while serving in uniform. But it makes sense–a lot of my life has been involved in flouting convention. Two of my personally defined core values are “Epicenter” and “Island”. The epicenter is the eye of the storm–the calm completely surrounded by the fury and the water. Yet the island is a domain of individual action–set amidst some structural boundary.
For me–these combine into the idea of the hurricane. A rebellious, powerful, dangerous force of nature. And as dangerous as they are–there’s art in the ability for nature to produce something so vast, spinning against the direction of the world. What if that energy were turned towards a positive purpose?
The other tendency manifests in how I often accept rules I haven’t examined, rebelled against, or better validated. When I say I can’t do something because of something “out there”–that’s obliging. Also–I accept outside systems instead of imposing my own. Like going to the gym–were it not for a great coach nearby, I would always find an excuse not to get my lifts in. Which is part of my problem in why I’m not running as much as I want to be–I don’t see my coach enough. So I don’t have anyone to oblige myself to seeing.
Gretchen’s talk was great because it set the stage for the rest of the day. This idea of expectation–what we should expect from this experience. From how we manifest ourselves in this experience. From what we’ll take away from this experience and move forward on in our lives.
For me–this was an amazing way to think about who I want to be, how I sabotage myself, and what I let control my life.
Redefine Remarkable
“When you have your dream job–you don’t spend a lot of time dreaming.”
Tess Viegeland’s story was remarkable in how honest it was. A journalist and newscaster by trade–everyone felt her energy. Her love of craft. We also felt her dissonance and vulnerability–it really sparked with the audience.
Tess told the story about how she achieved her dream job, but one day realized it was no longer a dream. When you’ve been living a dream, and the dream fades away–what comes next? That’s the question she was exploring on stage as she unraveled her story. What felt gripping was her admission of how closely she linked her identity and credibility to her position. And now with that position gone–if can feel so much like the credibility is gone too.
This was a moving story. How many of us have crashed in the trough of the wave–riding success before realizing the back of the wave is underneath us? How visceral is it to understand what made us no longer makes us. But as the awesome closing noted:
We are not our failures; We are not our successes.
But it can sure feel like shit when we’re collapsed between our successes or our failures.
And that’s what we felt here. That’s what brought us to our feet when the story was finished. Not because the story is done–but because we’re all in the search. The journey is where the heroine is most tested, most vulnerable. Most capable of growing. The second act in a play has rising action for a reason–but sometimes, that action can be so painful, so excruciating–it can seem easier to fall back. To walk away. But that’s impossible–the only valuable momentum is forward.
The hidden value of dreams is that we have to keep dreaming. The hidden value of identity is in seeking resiliency.
Counter Mind/True Mind
“No one ever got great by not sucking.”
Andrew Varner was the surprise/guest presenter for Sunday. We spent the session going through mindfulness when encountering those negative/self-destructive thought patterns–culminating w/a meditation exercise we could take with us home.
All of these negative, self-dishonest, self-destructive thoughts are compiled into this idea of a “countermind”. While our conscious and wisdom–our “true mind”–are drawn to our highest and best works, there’s this counter current (ok, a torrent) of limiting statements, beliefs, and actions that keep us in a constrained and reinforcing loop. It’s why we seem never to solve the core problems in our lives. Or why we may not confront them at all.
Varner’s preso reinforced the ideas of Shirzad Chamine’s “Positive Intelligence”:
The axis in our life is whether we feed our Inner Sage or our Inner Saboteur.
Chamine–grounded and a visionary of the Co-Active Coaching methodology–released his book last year to talk about this inner battle between our most resonant and dissonant selves. It was great to hear Varner talk about the same thing through different terms–it reinforced for me how common many conflicts can be. Especially the inner conflict.
Our counter minds–our Inner Saboteurs–seek to restrict and revert ourselves from our craft. From our calling. Often, this inner dissonance works without us even realizing it’s happen. Like Varner noted, “Even Ebert gave the movie a shot before he shot it down“. Our counter mind doesn’t. It shoots down our best stuff before we can even manifest and test it. Our inner sabotage pre-empts our inner wisdom by placing us in the same position again. By forcing us to respond and live in a reactive way.
It’s why you haven’t gone back to the gym. Why you haven’t found your art. Why you’re still where you were three years ago.
Allow Me to Reintroduce Myself
Hi. I’m Travis–my vision is to keynote on the WDS stage myself in 2018.
Here’s why.
This was an amazing experience. There was so much that happened–and not enough room to talk about here. Moreover–seeing the speakers, the people who’s books I read, the leaders who have shifted mindsets, pushes me into the breach. Being on stage is like being in the ring–and in my time away from the stand, I’ve forgotten that. And the best way to experience that again is to participate.
In mega-conferences–it’s easy to not come away changed from the experience. Here–you’re confronted by change. You’re confronted by people who are open, who will approach you, and will challenge the blindspots you hold dear. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry–you’ll find a family you didn’t know you had. That is the future of conferences–more intimate, more locale driven, and more competitive to attend.
I can’t thank enough those who I’ve meet in this brief period–the friends I’ve made, the frontiers I’ve viewed. The best way I can do that is to keep creating.
